Something Awful
**NOTE** This story is not mine. The original content belongs to a fella by the name of Martin Random. This story is saved from a thread on www.somethingawful.com and all credit for it should belong to the respective creators. I did my best to credit all artists and writers, but since I did this in my spare time at work, I certainly could have missed something. I will happily adjust the page to reflect credit where credit is due. Please enjoy.
There recently was a thread about awful room-mates, along with pictures. I have my own experience.
Housing complex. The units are...
Shokan came out of the closet to say:
What was this guy's story about shitting on a stove and leaving it on? Or shit in the refridgerator? OR shit in various fixtures?
Why didn't you call the landlord and get this guy kicked out?
The feces he left around falls into three categories:
A) Experiments he conducted. The stove top feces thing was an experiment he conducted after his toilet was broken, and I refused him access to mine, and his neighbors got sick of letting him use theirs. I think he was trying to find some new way of getting rid of his...
I kind of messed up the timeline for this stuff, so here's a quick runthrough before I continue the story.
TIME A: Tons of parties, vomit being cleaned up by me, tarantula, punching, etc. I start witholding rent at this point, and am subtracting $200 a month from the rent for cleaning costs.
TIME B: His girlfriend leaves him. His friends stop hanging out with him. He smashes his bathroom. He uses mine for a time, is denied access, uses neighbor's for a time, is denied access, and is angry at me for refusing him access to my bathroom. I fixed his...
The Kidnapping:
Let's get this over with.
So as I said, I am a pretty easy going person and I could tolerate this situation pretty endlessly. But as I hinted earlier, Jed eventually made this situation unlivable. Here's how it goes down:
I've long been using a cellphone since Jed pretty much has control of our apartment phone, and whenever anyone calls he'll answer with crazytalk. To my knowledge, he still has access to the store room in Longs Drugs, from which he has been stealing crates full of random stuff.
Anyway, lately, Jed was more active than usual. I hear a lot...
The apartment was completely silent by this point. All I could hear was some kind of dull tubal thumping from inside the place, that same dull bass noise I heard earlier. Remembering my crack training at counterstrike, instead of going further in, I limped over to the kitchen area and flung shit around to make sure that nobody was hiding under the newspapers. I could see that he had gotten a lot more crap since the last time I was here. There were mason jars of urine in the kitchen, along with gallon jugs of the stuff. There were a...
ReidRansom came out of the closet to say:
...writhing...in...shit...
edit: That's it??????? ...the ending was a bit sudden, but very entertaining nonetheless.
Sorry for the sudden ending. I felt very rushed so I just told it like it was, how I could remember it. The whole re-entry was like a nightmare to me, and it's not very well lit, so I can't describe a lot of stuff in detail. Just how X felt when I whacked it, some of the stuff I ended up hurling I remembered, and soforth.
The real remarkable contrast was that my apartment is about as clean as...
kotau came out of the closet to say:
If this is true, the fact that you didn't do anything about the situation made it infinitely worse. I think we can all learn a lesson from that.
I agree, what I did was absolutely the worst response to the situation. If you think about it, this poor guy had a serious problem, and I was the only one who could help him, and I chose not to. I am in no way a hero in this situation. It is only the most capricious, fateful of windfalls that neither of us are...
monkeytoucher came out of the closet to say:
Stories and situations like this are the reason why every person needs to have a camcorder with a fresh tape and charged batteries nearby at all times.
Excellent story. Any chance of a text or HTML version to send out to people who aren't on the forums? Or would you rather keep it local?
Thanks again for the good read.
I don't want to bother typing it up in HTML, but anyone else is welcome to do so. As for this going outside the forums, leave the name "martin random" attached so I...
Shii Says
I played hookey with my high school P.E. class because I felt this had to be done
Shii decided to show you this image:
An easier way to storypanel this would be me on the ground in the first panel, then a shot with me facing the camera taking most of the panel standing up and dusting myself off, but behind me over my shoulder is a tall figure with looming red eyes. Next panel is me just standing there like the previous frame but looking to the side, like I think something is up behind me. Final panel is...